Why did the blonde drown in the pool? Because a person tied an anvil to her leg and dropped it in the deep end of the pool.

if this is something you think that is funny or if you think this is a hoax, you should be ashamed of yourself. i can guarantee if you say that in public, people are going to kick your ass. on top of that, this is the prime reason why men are labeled as arrogant jackasses and you are the leading cause of it all, so next time you look in a mirror, think how much it would hurt to have your eyes gouge out and your tongue sheared off, cause quite frankly, i would do so.

Go take a flying f*ck at a rolling doughnut

just fyi: I have relatives from not so far back that were nimibian tribesman. they happen to have fought lions just to become warriors. I dont know what you know about lions but they aren't like your average cat. I bet you would absolutely shit yourself if you ever saw a real life lion.. especially if you were only holding a sharpened stick and you were naked. come talk to me when some of your family members have gone on the zambutu bibjano; aka the trial of life. until you have done half the shit that they have maybe you shouldnt even talk to me like this. I know you think you're hard and shit but guess what pal.. u arent'. now go grow some namibian genes and we'll talk about this shit for real

Suddenly every mp3 on the intarnets is no longer an mp3 or just a regular old file, its a cumtastic podcast. If you were gay enough to buy into stupid pretty white DIGITAL AUDIO PLAYERS that they don't even want you playing mp3's on, then now you can get in a big circle with all your friends and celebrate how unique and esoteric your crap DAP is, and how your also propably dumb enough to drive a beetle.

Listen, I don't know where you are from, but where I'm from we HIT BITCHES LIKE YOU. That's right, no disrespect needed. No toning down required. Just straight bitch slaps and choking. If we meet, I'm slapping your shit on sight.

You think you so slick with all your digs at my small Asian penis, but you didn't think this one through because you are no match for my superior Asian brain! I read your IP, mwahaha! My Mac makes job like this no problem. Being Chinese means I am kung-fu, motherbitch, and I about to go all Bruce Lee on your ASS! You need to watch out who you order your chicken chow mein from, because when you hear the glass break, enter the dragon! I come through your window! Ha, we Chinese come up with genius plan for every occasion ... you think you pay me for take-out, but you actually pay me to beat you like little bitch! Do I still have small dick? Huh? I make you eat your own shit! Ho0o0o0o!

lol

"If I ever see you on craiglist again...ever, I am going to make sure you never sell shit again online from the ass whooping I am going to give you. I am sick and tired of phaggots like you posting shit on craiglist and when it comes down to selling shit, you flake. So listen here ASSCLOWN. If I ever see you advertise one more thing on here, I am going to personally find you and beat the living shit out of you. I'm going to make sure you have a reason not to sell shit on craiglist ever again. You'll be in a wheelchair the rest of your life wondering where you went wrong. If I ever hear of you on here...you better make sure you move states. Because if I find you...like I said...I'll be sure to give you a reason to flake and not to make it to my doorstep with whatever it is you are selling ****.

The power to fly, but only when you are underwater.

I just stole your car, set fire to your couch, humped your girlfriend, ate your last piece of pizza, drank your last beer, shit on your coat, called your father a dingle berry, smeared KY jelly all over your toilet seat, called the police and told them you were mean to me, broke your calculator, made a flip book out of your post-it notes, wrote obscene messages on your driveway in sidewalk chalk, mixed up all your dress socks so you have one navy blue and one black one, left your refrigerator door open, left your freezer door open, left your front door open, asked your priest to excommunicate you, rifled through your mail but didn't find anything interesting so I put it back, switched your calender with a 1996 one, changed your screen saver to the windows logo, switched all your clocks back 1 hour, licked all your stamps and put them on the ceiling of your stolen car, made a random post trying to make you cry, invited twelve stray cats into your place and watching the sit on the burning couch, run up your long distance bill asking china if they really loved white rice, played darts with your neighbor, the dart board was the side of your house, I won, vacuumed your carpet then dumped the bag on your bed, set your bed on fire to watch the dust burn, it wasn't that interesting so I took a fire extinguisher and put it out, watched the couch burn some more cats, invited a stray dog over to chase the burning cats, got hungry again after eating your last piece of pizza so I ordered another one, its in your refrigerator but the doors still open, called your work and told them you died in a horrible gay experiment, told the same thing to your dad.

i love marijuana

"If I ever see you on craiglist again...I'm going to make sure you never sell shit again online. I am sick and tired of phaggots like you posting shit on craiglist and when it comes down to selling shit, you flake. So listen here ASSCLOWN. If I ever see you advertise one more thing on here, I am going to personally find you and beat the living shit out of you. I'm going to make sure you have a reason not to sell shit on craiglist. You'll be in a wheelchair the rest of your life wondering where you went wrong. If I ever hear of you on here...you better make sure you move states. Because if I find you...like I said...I'll be sure to give you a reason not to make it to my doorstep with whatever it is you are selling ****.

You think you so slick with all your digs at my small Asian penis, but you didn't think this one through because you are no match for my superior Asian brain! I read your IP, mwahaha! My Mac makes job like this no problem. Being Chinese means I am kung-fu, motherbitch, and I about to go all Bruce Lee on your ASS! You need to watch out who you order your chicken chow mein from, because when you hear the glass break, enter the dragon! I come through your window! Ha, we Chinese come up with genius plan for every occasion ... you think you pay me for take-out, but you actually pay me to beat you like little bitch! Do I still have small dick? Huh? I make you eat your own shit! Ho0o0o0o!

after telling someone on a forum to stop whining: "motha fukker lemme tell u wot...were i from you say dat shit you get pop capped dropped and then ur whole family git stuck. i got a gat wit hollo points and they all 4 u."

I love you.... :D

Bitch please. I'm apart of an organization of dangerous, so secret, and so elite that the only time you're ever going to hear about it is during the last few moments of your life while I cut your heart and eat it with some garlic and olive oil. I've hunted over a thousand dangerous game with my trusty .450 Dakota. Ever shot a truck sized target with a .450 Dakota, boy? That shit turns into pink mist. I could snap your neck without even touching you and your would stop in your tracks taking one look into my steely gaze. I'm just the pinnacle of godliness, so come at me.

Oh the Bliss! When I walk into Claire's and say i hate Justin Bieber and 1 Direction and everyone glares at me... Muahahahaha! and then proceed to buy gay pride things.

Hey dipshit!

Smoke Weed Every Day

Seriously, if I keep being a total asshole! You are gonna come to my home and I am going to eat your shit while you fuck my mom! YEAH! I AM GONNA BECOME YOUR BITCH! SO WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT THAT HUH? HUUUUH? NOTHING! BECAUSE YOU CAN AND WILL POP A CAP IN MY ASS! YEAH! SO WHAT AM I GONNA DO THEN? PROBABLY SUCK A DICK OR SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU GOT LIKE BLACK BELT IN... MORTAL KOMBAT YEAH! I BET YOU BEAT PEOPLE UP EVERY DAY WHILE I AM A LITTLE NERD BEHIND A KEYBOARD! YEAH THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT! I AM A RETARD AND PATHETIC BECAUSE YOU SAID SO! Moral: I get the slight sensation that this is not as threatening of a letter as I thought... BUT FUCK... ME! WHAT DO I KNOW I PIECE OF SHIT! FUCK MY MOTHER! I AM A MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! YEAH! HAHAHA! YOU ARE GOING TO KICK MY ASS! AND I AM GONNA BE CRYING LIKE A LITTLE BITCH! AND THERE WONT BE ANYTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT! Moral: Well this better be good enough, HAH! I AM SO YOUR BITCH NOW! YOUR BITCH!

You are about as entertaining as a child's inflatable punching toy. You bop it, it springs back, you bop it again and you forget it ever existed. It slowly deflates in an unused corner, then one day you throw it away. There's nothing wrong with you that couldn't be cured with a little Prozac and a polo mallet, or, better yet, suicide. Maybe you wouldn't read like such a pathetic loser if you weren't afflicted with mental retardation; if your weren't so fat that when you stand on the weighing scale, it reads: "Sorry, we don't weigh livestock.", or if you didn't have a face like a bulldog chewing a stinging nettle while taking a constipated dump in a heat wave. Who am I kidding? You would. In future, wake up the dozy peglegged hamster operating that wheel-powered brain of yours before you start typing.

Usually when people talk shit, I just brush it off, but now, it's gone a little to far. Assclown, you talk as you know me but in reality you don't know shit about me. I'm guessing you've never been in a situation involving a real live thug that was born and raised in the ghetto/hood(me). Yes i've turned my life to good, but i will throw all that out the window if you continue to talk shit about me. I've killed a few people back in my banging days and Just remember next time before you open your mouth, you better be praying that i'm in a good mood, or else you'll be in for a rude awakening when the thug in me unleashes.

I was just a boy when the infidels came to my village in their Blackhawk helicopters. The infidels fired at the oil fields and they lit up like the eyes of Allah. Burning oil rained down from the sky and cooked everything it touched. I could only hide myself and cry as my goats were consumed by the fiery black liquid death. In the midst of the chaos, I could swear that I heard my goats screaming for help. As quickly as they had come, the infidels were gone. It was on that day I put a jihad on them. And if you don't believe it, then you'd better kill me now, because I'll put a jihad on you, too.

ethugtxt

Electronic thug. A pale, pimple faced, skinny white kid who would most likely burn up if he came into contact with natural sunlight. Spends all of his time threatening people over the internet to compensate for his lack of a life and hatred of humanity for not accepting him.