I love you.... :D

Whats worse than your christmas tree catching on fire christmas eve? Your christmas tree catching on fire on christmas

I just stole your car, set fire to your couch, humped your girlfriend, ate your last piece of pizza, drank your last beer, shit on your coat, called your father a dingle berry, smeared KY jelly all over your toilet seat, called the police and told them you were mean to me, broke your calculator, made a flip book out of your post-it notes, wrote obscene messages on your driveway in sidewalk chalk, mixed up all your dress socks so you have one navy blue and one black one, left your refrigerator door open, left your freezer door open, left your front door open, asked your priest to excommunicate you, rifled through your mail but didn't find anything interesting so I put it back, switched your calender with a 1996 one, changed your screen saver to the windows logo, switched all your clocks back 1 hour, licked all your stamps and put them on the ceiling of your stolen car, made a random post trying to make you cry, invited twelve stray cats into your place and watching the sit on the burning couch, run up your long distance bill asking china if they really loved white rice, played darts with your neighbor, the dart board was the side of your house, I won, vacuumed your carpet then dumped the bag on your bed, set your bed on fire to watch the dust burn, it wasn't that interesting so I took a fire extinguisher and put it out, watched the couch burn some more cats, invited a stray dog over to chase the burning cats, got hungry again after eating your last piece of pizza so I ordered another one, its in your refrigerator but the doors still open, called your work and told them you died in a horrible gay experiment, told the same thing to your dad.

Tonight when you sit down at your bed, or LIE down, you are going to feel something sharp hard and long up your ass... That is The PENIS!!! Of the Moral man! That makes me your bitch! Ps: Get lost kid, this message is for your mother/sister/sexy cousin/And all of those hotness whose clit I am going to pierce my name on WHY? BECAUSE YOU EXIST! THATS IT!.... NEROOOOOO!!!!!!!!

I'm going to **** your **** with my **** you ****ing **** *** sucking **** ****** *** ***** and then ill rip you a new ******* you ******** I'm going to**** ****** ***** and **** in your cereal then **** *** ***** ****** **** ***** *** **** *****and *** *** ** **** ***** so hard you'll cry and ill **** your ***** **** weather you like it or not.. .

Flexsteel furniture , flexsteel recliner , flexsteel Dylan

Listen, I don't know where you are from, but where I'm from we HIT BITCHES LIKE YOU. That's right, no disrespect needed. No toning down required. Just straight bitch slaps and choking. If we meet, I'm slapping your shit on sight.

I laugh at peasants who drink alcohol while clubbing Do you realize how beta you look by standing around with a beer held to your chest? it signals that you're common and uninteresting, and girls wont even look twice at you if you're adopting this classic loser pose. You might as well be wearing a tshirt that says "alcohol makes me less awkward" Classy men drink energy drinks (red bull for the 1%ers) while clubbing. it makes you stand out from the crowd, shows you're not afraid of public opinion, and actually enhances your mind and your wit instead of dulling it. you'll radiate maturity and confidence, which will be in stark contrast to 90% of the other guys there. The absolute highest quality girls in the club will go for the guy who is enjoying an extreme branded caffeinated beverage, savoring the taste and being at peace with his surroundings while 100% sober. High quality girls will likely be into either yoga or working out, and they will value that you take care of your body by choosing energy over a toxin. If you're a frustrated DOAer and you haven't tried this route already, its about time you did.

Usually when people talk shit, I just brush it off, but now, it's gone a little to far. Assclown, you talk as you know me but in reality you don't know shit about me. I'm guessing you've never been in a situation involving a real live thug that was born and raised in the ghetto/hood(me). Yes i've turned my life to good, but i will throw all that out the window if you continue to talk shit about me. I've killed a few people back in my banging days and Just remember next time before you open your mouth, you better be praying that i'm in a good mood, or else you'll be in for a rude awakening when the thug in me unleashes.

just fyi: I have relatives from not so far back that were nimibian tribesman. they happen to have fought lions just to become warriors. I dont know what you know about lions but they aren't like your average cat. I bet you would absolutely shit yourself if you ever saw a real life lion.. especially if you were only holding a sharpened stick and you were naked. come talk to me when some of your family members have gone on the zambutu bibjano; aka the trial of life. until you have done half the shit that they have maybe you shouldnt even talk to me like this. I know you think you're hard and shit but guess what pal.. u arent'. now go grow some namibian genes and we'll talk about this shit for real

DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE OR YOU MIGHT SPILL THE DRINK. :D Source: Collection of Cool WhatsApp Status

what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul

Oh the Bliss! When I walk into Claire's and say i hate Justin Bieber and 1 Direction and everyone glares at me... Muahahahaha! and then proceed to buy gay pride things.

If you are willing to buy real estate, you will have to get the loans. Moreover, my father commonly takes a student loan, which supposes to be the most reliable.

im not fooling.. every bitch i see on here talks, but they dont realize they are talking through a computer. i guarantee that more than half of you wouldn't talk to me or others in real life the way you do on here, someone needs to bring this up and i figured i might as well do it before someone else does

I was just a boy when the infidels came to my village in their Blackhawk helicopters. The infidels fired at the oil fields and they lit up like the eyes of Allah. Burning oil rained down from the sky and cooked everything it touched. I could only hide myself and cry as my goats were consumed by the fiery black liquid death. In the midst of the chaos, I could swear that I heard my goats screaming for help. As quickly as they had come, the infidels were gone. It was on that day I put a jihad on them. And if you don't believe it, then you'd better kill me now, because I'll put a jihad on you, too.

"If I ever see you on craiglist again...I'm going to make sure you never sell shit again online. I am sick and tired of phaggots like you posting shit on craiglist and when it comes down to selling shit, you flake. So listen here ASSCLOWN. If I ever see you advertise one more thing on here, I am going to personally find you and beat the living shit out of you. I'm going to make sure you have a reason not to sell shit on craiglist. You'll be in a wheelchair the rest of your life wondering where you went wrong. If I ever hear of you on here...you better make sure you move states. Because if I find you...like I said...I'll be sure to give you a reason not to make it to my doorstep with whatever it is you are selling ****.

LISTEN KID! IM A 55 YEAR OLD VETERAN SOLDIER! I POP A CAP IN EVERYBODY THAT MESSES WITH ME! SO IF YOU KEEP MESSING WITH ME, I WILL ASK MY MOMMY IF SHE CAN BUY ME A GUN, AND I WILL POP A CAP IN YO ASS!

How do you keep a blonde entertained? A flash light and string.

you really need to be careful how you talk about me on the forum, i dont appreciate it. tone down the disrespect, i dont know where you're from but where im from we dont tolerate that. dont even reply to this, just keep your mouth shut. consider yourself warned.

"If I ever see you on craiglist again...I'm going to make sure you never sell shit again online. I am sick and tired of phaggots like you posting shit on craiglist and when it comes down to selling shit, you flake. So listen here ASSCLOWN. If I ever see you advertise one more thing on here, I am going to personally find you and beat the living shit out of you. I'm going to make sure you have a reason not to sell shit on craiglist. You'll be in a wheelchair the rest of your life wondering where you went wrong. If I ever hear of you on here...you better make sure you move states. Because if I find you...like I said...I'll be sure to give you a reason not to make it to my doorstep with whatever it is you are selling ****.

You think you so slick with all your digs at my small Asian penis, but you didn't think this one through because you are no match for my superior Asian brain! I read your IP, mwahaha! My Mac makes job like this no problem. Being Chinese means I am kung-fu, motherbitch, and I about to go all Bruce Lee on your ASS! You need to watch out who you order your chicken chow mein from, because when you hear the glass break, enter the dragon! I come through your window! Ha, we Chinese come up with genius plan for every occasion ... you think you pay me for take-out, but you actually pay me to beat you like little bitch! Do I still have small dick? Huh? I make you eat your own shit! Ho0o0o0o!

WTF FAGGOT I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU YOU FUCKING FAGGOT ASS GAY PANSIE LOL FUCKIN POS ILL FUCKIN CUT OFF YOUR COCK AND RAM IT DOWN YOUR THROAT WHERE DO U LIVE I'LL COME DO IT RIGHT NOW FUCKING SHITHEAD - SMC Digital

"If I ever see you on craiglist again...ever, I am going to make sure you never sell shit again online from the ass whooping I am going to give you. I am sick and tired of phaggots like you posting shit on craiglist and when it comes down to selling shit, you flake. So listen here ASSCLOWN. If I ever see you advertise one more thing on here, I am going to personally find you and beat the living shit out of you. I'm going to make sure you have a reason not to sell shit on craiglist ever again. You'll be in a wheelchair the rest of your life wondering where you went wrong. If I ever hear of you on here...you better make sure you move states. Because if I find you...like I said...I'll be sure to give you a reason to flake and not to make it to my doorstep with whatever it is you are selling ****.

ethugtxt

Electronic thug. A pale, pimple faced, skinny white kid who would most likely burn up if he came into contact with natural sunlight. Spends all of his time threatening people over the internet to compensate for his lack of a life and hatred of humanity for not accepting him.